The past few weeks have been busy with some things that were fun and somethings that were not so fun. One of the not so fun things was our microwave dying last Wednesday. We were heating up left overs for dinner and the food just wasn't getting hot. Well, the turntable in the microwave had stopped turning and it was just blowing air. We went shopping on Saturday for a new one. We decided to replace our old electric stove with a gas range while we were at it. We looked at Best Buy and Lowes, and we found a better deal at Best Buy. James was able to install the microwave himself, but we need a plumber to install the gas line for the new stove. Last week we called a plumber that we had used before, and he was supposed to come yesterday sometime after 1:30 pm. At 3 pm I still hadn't heard from him. James tried to call him, but he had to leave a message. James tried to call him again at 4:00. Still no answer. He called us back about 15 minutes later. He was sick with a fever and could not come. Well, a phone call would have been nice!
We rescheduled him again for Saturday, and called another plumber to come today - just in case one of them falls thru!
I'm really hoping we get the line installed today. We've got some cooking to do for our Superbowl party!
Friday, February 5, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Cookbook
A friend of ours gave us this cookbook as a wedding gift. (Thanks, again Becky!) I've been using it about once a month lately. I used it on Monday night. I like it. The recipes are simple, and call for easy to find ingredients. It has recipes for appetizers, soups, salads, main dishes, and desserts. Most of the ones we have tried have been really yummy. It has little notes in the margins that give facts about women of historical interest. So you get to learn a little history while you are preparing a meal.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Facebook Etiquette
I've had a Facebook account for a few years now, and for the most part, I like using it. It is an easy way to share photos and keep in touch. There are some things are, let's say a little problematic with it. For example, you've had a frustrating day and want to vent. So you turn to you Facebook status update. You spew out your frustrations. . .you feel better. . .but wait, maybe you shoudn't have said that. . .but it's right there in black and white for your closest 300 friends to read. Yes, you can delete it, but what if someone reads your regretable words before you can find the delete button?
Here's a few tips to keep from embarassing yourself
1. Think twice before you post something disgusting. I really don't want to know that you washed a dirty poopy diaper in the washing machine with your white linen tablecloth from Great-aunt Betty. If you want to mourn the loss of you table cloth, maybe say "I accidentally washed my tablecloth from my aunt with some garbage and I'm afraid it is ruined." See there, that's better. That doesn't elicit a gag reflex. This also applies to finding doggie poop in the bed on the down duvet and anything else that has to do with poop or vomit!
2. Restrain yourself from saying disparaging things about kids. Ok, so you've had a bad day with Junior. He/she has (all in one day) drawn on the wallpaper in the dinning room with a sharpie, decided to go exploring the in garbage can and threw trash all over the kitchen and torn the towel rack off the wall in the bathroom and played frisbee with your china. BAD day, so you turn to your Facebook status update to vent. I think your child would be mortified to find out that you shared all that information with your 300 closest friends. What if your kid finds that and reads it himself one day? Be respectful. Say, "It's been a long day with Junior. I need a girls' night out."
3. Restrain yourself from saying disparaging things about our spouse. If you have a problem with them, resolve it privately. The rest of us don't need to know that you've had an argument that was so loud it attracted an audience outside your front door.
4. Respect your child's right to privacy. Be careful with those bathtub pics that you post of your little person. No one wants to see him in his birthday suit with his unmentionables exposed, and it they do they are a sicko and shouldn't be on your friend list to begin with! The strategic placement of toys, bubbles, or washcloths greatly improves the decency of these kinds of photos. Before posting any photo ask yourself, "If that was me in that photo instead of Junior (or whoever), would I want my 300 closest friends to see it on the internet?" If they answer is "no", then you are probably better off not posting it.
5. Do not use Facebook as a place for confession. So, you went out last night and drank like a fish and you woke up in the middle of your driveway with nothing but your underwear on. Keep it to yourself, for your own sake! Posting things like that can come back to bite you.
6. Do not send multiple friend requests to the same person. Get the hint. They do not want to be your Facebook friend! I've gotten requests from people that I either didn't know or didn't know well enough to want them on my friend list. So, I reject the first request, but they just keep coming. Maybe the sender doesn't remember if they sent the first one. May they think it got lost in cyberspace. It didn't get lost in cyberspace, people. So I reject the second request. I get a third one. Then I block the person.
Here's a few tips to keep from embarassing yourself
1. Think twice before you post something disgusting. I really don't want to know that you washed a dirty poopy diaper in the washing machine with your white linen tablecloth from Great-aunt Betty. If you want to mourn the loss of you table cloth, maybe say "I accidentally washed my tablecloth from my aunt with some garbage and I'm afraid it is ruined." See there, that's better. That doesn't elicit a gag reflex. This also applies to finding doggie poop in the bed on the down duvet and anything else that has to do with poop or vomit!
2. Restrain yourself from saying disparaging things about kids. Ok, so you've had a bad day with Junior. He/she has (all in one day) drawn on the wallpaper in the dinning room with a sharpie, decided to go exploring the in garbage can and threw trash all over the kitchen and torn the towel rack off the wall in the bathroom and played frisbee with your china. BAD day, so you turn to your Facebook status update to vent. I think your child would be mortified to find out that you shared all that information with your 300 closest friends. What if your kid finds that and reads it himself one day? Be respectful. Say, "It's been a long day with Junior. I need a girls' night out."
3. Restrain yourself from saying disparaging things about our spouse. If you have a problem with them, resolve it privately. The rest of us don't need to know that you've had an argument that was so loud it attracted an audience outside your front door.
4. Respect your child's right to privacy. Be careful with those bathtub pics that you post of your little person. No one wants to see him in his birthday suit with his unmentionables exposed, and it they do they are a sicko and shouldn't be on your friend list to begin with! The strategic placement of toys, bubbles, or washcloths greatly improves the decency of these kinds of photos. Before posting any photo ask yourself, "If that was me in that photo instead of Junior (or whoever), would I want my 300 closest friends to see it on the internet?" If they answer is "no", then you are probably better off not posting it.
5. Do not use Facebook as a place for confession. So, you went out last night and drank like a fish and you woke up in the middle of your driveway with nothing but your underwear on. Keep it to yourself, for your own sake! Posting things like that can come back to bite you.
6. Do not send multiple friend requests to the same person. Get the hint. They do not want to be your Facebook friend! I've gotten requests from people that I either didn't know or didn't know well enough to want them on my friend list. So, I reject the first request, but they just keep coming. Maybe the sender doesn't remember if they sent the first one. May they think it got lost in cyberspace. It didn't get lost in cyberspace, people. So I reject the second request. I get a third one. Then I block the person.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
The end of the paperchase . . .for now.
We got a large package in the mail from our adoption agency today. It was a copy of our completed dossier. I was unfamiliar with the word "dossier" before we started this process, so here's the definition.
dos-si-er : (dos-ee-ey, -ee-er, daw-see-ey, -see-er; Fr. daw-syey) noun, plural dos⋅si⋅ers
a collection or file of documents on the same subject, esp. a complete file containing detailed information about a person or topic.
We found out the our dossier was sent to our agency's National office yesterday. From there it will go to the Embassy in DC where it will be legalized. It will then shipped to Ethiopia where it will be translated and sent to MOWA (Ministery of Women's Affairs) and the various orphanages that our agency works with to await a referral. We are at a point where we won't hear much information from our agency. It's just a waiting game now. Thanks again for all your prayers.
dos-si-er : (dos-ee-ey, -ee-er, daw-see-ey, -see-er; Fr. daw-syey) noun, plural dos⋅si⋅ers
a collection or file of documents on the same subject, esp. a complete file containing detailed information about a person or topic.
We found out the our dossier was sent to our agency's National office yesterday. From there it will go to the Embassy in DC where it will be legalized. It will then shipped to Ethiopia where it will be translated and sent to MOWA (Ministery of Women's Affairs) and the various orphanages that our agency works with to await a referral. We are at a point where we won't hear much information from our agency. It's just a waiting game now. Thanks again for all your prayers.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Turning 30
My birthday was yesterday. Thanks for all the birthday wishes. I had a good day, but put off the party until Friday night since I had to work overnight. We are going out for Ethiopian food with some of our friends and having cake at our house Friday night. Here are a few pics from yesterday.
James takes the time to wrap gifts that he gives me, and I really do appreciate the effort. It's just that he's not so good with paper and scissors. Here are some shots of his handwork. I will say that the small item was in a odd shaped box. He could have just bought a gift bag to put it in, but I appreciate his frugality. He used wrapping paper and a bow that we already had.
This is what was in the small box. Love this! It is from this Etsy shop. The seller has better pics on her page. It is a necklace with a sterling silver charm shaped like Africa. This is a cross in the general area of Ethiopia. The following bible verse on the back. Well, just the address - the whole would never fit!
James takes the time to wrap gifts that he gives me, and I really do appreciate the effort. It's just that he's not so good with paper and scissors. Here are some shots of his handwork. I will say that the small item was in a odd shaped box. He could have just bought a gift bag to put it in, but I appreciate his frugality. He used wrapping paper and a bow that we already had.
Isaiah 41:9-10 (NIV)
I took you from the ends of the earth,
from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, 'You are my servant';
I have chosen you and have not rejected you.
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
I took you from the ends of the earth,
from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, 'You are my servant';
I have chosen you and have not rejected you.
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
In the larger package . . .
Mariokart. Fun game! We spent about an hour playing it yesterday.
James also gave me a bouquet of flowers. . .30 carnations.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Laundry Room
Why I chose that phrase . . .
Doing the laundry is not my favorite chore. It takes a while to do it, and it's never completely finished. It has to be carried downstairs and then back upstairs. Ugh. I saw this phrase in my friend's catalog, and it caught my eye. Maybe it will help me have a more positive attitude about doing the laundry.
The other thing I got . . .
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Adoption FAQ
I get questions rather often about what the adoption process is like, sometimes from people who are thinking about adopting in the future. Sometimes the questions just come from nosey people, but for those who are looking for some help, here are some of the most common questions I get.
How long does it take?
This depends on what road you take. Domestic vs. international, private adoption vs. working an agency, special needs vs. healthy. Domestic adoptions can go rather quickly (less than 1 year) if you don't have a racial preference. If you do have a racial preference, it can take much longer. We attended an informational meeting almost one year ago that was held by our adoption agency. The projected time line for domestic adoption of a Caucasian child was 3 years. If you adopt internationally, the time line is dependent upon which country you are adopting from. It can take about 4 years to adopt a child from China. We are looking at a time line of about 2 years.
How did you decide on what country to adopt from?
Our agency has a preliminary application that you have to fill out if you are interested in pursuing international adoption. It asks for some basic information about your age, health, income, and length of marriage. You will then be given a list of what countries from which you could adopt. We were given our results just a few days after we submitted our prelim app. We were not old enough to adopt from several of the countries that our agency is licensed in - you had to 30 and we were 29. We didn't want to wait another year. Some countries require that you be married for a least 5 years before you can adopt there. Your health is another thing that can disqualify you. If you are disabled or being treated for certain conditions, you will be not be allowed to adopt from certain countries. We had a few countries to chose from. The process doesn't take quite so long in Ethiopia, and you can adopt infants from Ethiopia. Not all countries will allow infants to be adopted internationally.
How did you decide which adoption agency to use?
We knew others who had previously adopted through the agency we chose, and we had gotten positive feedback from them. That's the agency that we first looked at, and it is the one we ultimately chose. We found a list a questions to ask an adoption agency that an adoptive mom had posted online. Here it is. And, yes we did ask these.
1. Are you currently licensed to handle adoptions from Ethiopia? Since when?
2. Have you ever had your license suspended? Why?
3. How many Ethiopian adoptions have you completed?
4. Do you run an agency list-serv – a forum for pre- and post-adoptive families to converse online? If not, is there a way for your families to communicate with one another? This may sound trivial, but it is really helpful to make connections with other people who are going through the same thing you are going through.
5. Can I have a hand in choosing my child, or will I be “matched” with a child by you?
6. What kind of information is available about children you place? Will I see medical reports, photos, videos? Will I learn about the child’s history prior to placement at the orphanage?
7. Have you, the director, met the children? Will you have met my prospective child personally? If not, on whose word are we relying about the condition of the child?
8. What is a typical time line from the time I accept a child to completion of the process?
9. How does the time line for baby-adoption compare to the time line for older child adoption?
10. May I travel to meet my child before the process is complete?
11. May I travel to pick up my child or do I have the child escorted? Which do you recommend?
12. Is it possible to adopt two or more unrelated children, or do you discourage it?
13. Is it possible to meet my child’s birth-relatives? Does my child have a living parent?
14. What is the cost for an adoption of one or more children? Are there hidden costs? Will I be charged for foster care while my child awaits completion of the process?
15. What kind of post-adoption support does your agency offer? If we have a difficult transition, will you be able to help me through it?
How much does it cost to adopt?
I usually tell people that it cost about as much as car. Is some cases, it costs as much as a very nice car. It depends on what state you live in and what country you are adopting from and how many children you are adopting.
Did you have to find an adoption attorney?
No. We did have to give power of attorney to an agency staff member in Ethiopia.
Why does it take so long?
Details. Details. Details. It takes about 6 months just to fill out the paperwork. No stone is left unturned. You have to turn in your bank records, proof of employment, medical history, tax returns. you have to go through background checks. You have to go through a medical exam and have blood work done, and get tested for TB and other contagious diseases. You also have to have a drug test done. We had to get fingerprinted twice - once for the state and again for immigrations. You have to provide 11 letters/forms of reference - one from your doctor for each spouse, one from both your employers (if you both work outside the home), one from a family member that doesn't live with you, and the rest from friends. Everything you turn in has to be notarized and sealed by the secretary of state. Once you get your documents sent, to the country you are adopting from, every last page has to be translated. There are a finite number of people in the country to process the applications and translate.
Do you have the option of indicating the gender/age/medical concerns of the child that you are open to adopting?
You will have a form to fill out where you can indicate what medical issues you are open to. Ours was about 2 pages long, and it had everything on from a missing finger to HIV positive. It was difficult to fill it out because each time you check "no" you wonder what real live child that check mark effected and how many more days in an orphanage that it bought them. You will also be able to specify what age range you are open to, but that doesn't mean that just because you said you wanted a newborn you won't get a call from your social worker wanting to know if you'd like to adopt an 8 year old. You can specify gender in some situations. I don't think our agency will allow you to specify gender if you are adopting domestically. Some countries will allow it.
How long does it take?
This depends on what road you take. Domestic vs. international, private adoption vs. working an agency, special needs vs. healthy. Domestic adoptions can go rather quickly (less than 1 year) if you don't have a racial preference. If you do have a racial preference, it can take much longer. We attended an informational meeting almost one year ago that was held by our adoption agency. The projected time line for domestic adoption of a Caucasian child was 3 years. If you adopt internationally, the time line is dependent upon which country you are adopting from. It can take about 4 years to adopt a child from China. We are looking at a time line of about 2 years.
How did you decide on what country to adopt from?
Our agency has a preliminary application that you have to fill out if you are interested in pursuing international adoption. It asks for some basic information about your age, health, income, and length of marriage. You will then be given a list of what countries from which you could adopt. We were given our results just a few days after we submitted our prelim app. We were not old enough to adopt from several of the countries that our agency is licensed in - you had to 30 and we were 29. We didn't want to wait another year. Some countries require that you be married for a least 5 years before you can adopt there. Your health is another thing that can disqualify you. If you are disabled or being treated for certain conditions, you will be not be allowed to adopt from certain countries. We had a few countries to chose from. The process doesn't take quite so long in Ethiopia, and you can adopt infants from Ethiopia. Not all countries will allow infants to be adopted internationally.
How did you decide which adoption agency to use?
We knew others who had previously adopted through the agency we chose, and we had gotten positive feedback from them. That's the agency that we first looked at, and it is the one we ultimately chose. We found a list a questions to ask an adoption agency that an adoptive mom had posted online. Here it is. And, yes we did ask these.
1. Are you currently licensed to handle adoptions from Ethiopia? Since when?
2. Have you ever had your license suspended? Why?
3. How many Ethiopian adoptions have you completed?
4. Do you run an agency list-serv – a forum for pre- and post-adoptive families to converse online? If not, is there a way for your families to communicate with one another? This may sound trivial, but it is really helpful to make connections with other people who are going through the same thing you are going through.
5. Can I have a hand in choosing my child, or will I be “matched” with a child by you?
6. What kind of information is available about children you place? Will I see medical reports, photos, videos? Will I learn about the child’s history prior to placement at the orphanage?
7. Have you, the director, met the children? Will you have met my prospective child personally? If not, on whose word are we relying about the condition of the child?
8. What is a typical time line from the time I accept a child to completion of the process?
9. How does the time line for baby-adoption compare to the time line for older child adoption?
10. May I travel to meet my child before the process is complete?
11. May I travel to pick up my child or do I have the child escorted? Which do you recommend?
12. Is it possible to adopt two or more unrelated children, or do you discourage it?
13. Is it possible to meet my child’s birth-relatives? Does my child have a living parent?
14. What is the cost for an adoption of one or more children? Are there hidden costs? Will I be charged for foster care while my child awaits completion of the process?
15. What kind of post-adoption support does your agency offer? If we have a difficult transition, will you be able to help me through it?
How much does it cost to adopt?
I usually tell people that it cost about as much as car. Is some cases, it costs as much as a very nice car. It depends on what state you live in and what country you are adopting from and how many children you are adopting.
Did you have to find an adoption attorney?
No. We did have to give power of attorney to an agency staff member in Ethiopia.
Why does it take so long?
Details. Details. Details. It takes about 6 months just to fill out the paperwork. No stone is left unturned. You have to turn in your bank records, proof of employment, medical history, tax returns. you have to go through background checks. You have to go through a medical exam and have blood work done, and get tested for TB and other contagious diseases. You also have to have a drug test done. We had to get fingerprinted twice - once for the state and again for immigrations. You have to provide 11 letters/forms of reference - one from your doctor for each spouse, one from both your employers (if you both work outside the home), one from a family member that doesn't live with you, and the rest from friends. Everything you turn in has to be notarized and sealed by the secretary of state. Once you get your documents sent, to the country you are adopting from, every last page has to be translated. There are a finite number of people in the country to process the applications and translate.
Do you have the option of indicating the gender/age/medical concerns of the child that you are open to adopting?
You will have a form to fill out where you can indicate what medical issues you are open to. Ours was about 2 pages long, and it had everything on from a missing finger to HIV positive. It was difficult to fill it out because each time you check "no" you wonder what real live child that check mark effected and how many more days in an orphanage that it bought them. You will also be able to specify what age range you are open to, but that doesn't mean that just because you said you wanted a newborn you won't get a call from your social worker wanting to know if you'd like to adopt an 8 year old. You can specify gender in some situations. I don't think our agency will allow you to specify gender if you are adopting domestically. Some countries will allow it.
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