What we learned about Swaddling

Samuel has always enjoyed being swaddled, but neither of us knew anything about swaddling or the different types of swaddling blankets that are available. While he was in the hospital, the nurses taught us how to swaddle him with a blanket. When we first brought him home, he would cry if he was not swaddled at times. However, it only took him a week or two before he was able to bust his arms loose from the swaddling blanket.  James had read about Miracle Blankets, and I went shopping looking for them one day. The store was out.  When I got home, there was a package on our doorstep from a friend. Inside were two different kinds of swaddling blankets! The first kind we tried were Summer SwaddleMe blankets.

I really liked the weight of these, but Samuel could get his hands free if we were not careful to get it wrapped tightly.

James' parents gave us a couple of these Garanimal's fleece swaddling blankets. My mother-in-law found them at Wal-Mart and they were a nice weight for the colder days that we had in the late winter/early spring.  These had a fabric strap that wrapped around his arms and waist. It kept his arms down at his sides.  He was able to break free from this type as well.

When Samuel outgrew those swaddlers, we moved up to this:

It is called a Woombie. It zipped all the way from the baby's feet to his neck, and there was no strap or flap to wrap around him. This one gave him the freedom to move his arms around, but still kept them close to his body. I really liked these, but we had to stop using them when he began to roll over onto his tummy at night.  He needed to have his hands free so he could roll back over, if he wanted/needed to. They do make a convertible style of these that has arm holes that can be napped shut or left open, and wish that I had bought those instead because we would have gotten more use out of them.

Next, we started using HALO SleepSacks. These can be put on the baby where their arms are free, or they can be wrapped up in the swaddling flap. These have a fabric flap that covers up the zipper on the inside, so it doesn't irritate the baby's skin.  It has been so hot here, that even with the AC running, it still gets a little warm in the house when the sun comes up.  Samuel can sleep in this with just a diaper, if need be.

He has actually outgrown the one in the photo. He is using a larger HALO SleepSack that does not have the swaddling flaps.  You can see the flaps wrapped around his midsection in the photo.

James took off work in March, and stayed home with Samuel and he broke him from being swaddled during naptime early on.  I'm glad he was home to do it, because I had a tough time getting the little man to nap without swaddling him.

Father's Day 2012

Six months ago, I had begun to wonder if James and I would ever be able to celebrate Father's Day. We'd had such an awful time trying to adopt, and we didn't know if we'd ever become parents. We are so thankful that we were able to celebrate James' first Father's Day this year.

I had unique Father's Day cards made at Shutterfly for James, our dads, and James' grandfather. All four cards were different, and they had photos of the recipient with Samuel. I love the way the turned out! I wish I had gotten a photo of all four cards, but we were in a hurry to get the other cards in the mail after we finally got them on Wednesday last week. I waited a week and half for these to come in, and I will not be using Shutterfly for these kind of cards again. CVS stores will make these, and I will use them next time. These cards don't cost any more than what you'd spend on them at Hallmark, and I like them so much better.

My parents wanted to give us something this year for our first Mother's and Father's Days. They gave me a pink hydrangea and they gave James two books - James Dobson's Bringing up Boys and Bedtime Blessings by John Trent. Thanks, Mom and Dad!

 James is definately the better cook between the two of us, and it was time he had his own apron.  I local store called Instant Imprints did the embroidery, and I am pleased with the way it turned out.

 I also got him tickets to the Cardinal's game yesterday. The game was fun, but our seats were in the sun. We got up after the 5th inning and stood in the shade in the "standing room only section." Samuel made it through the first nine innings, and we went home and watched the rest of the game in the air conditioning.  The Cards lost in the 14th inning.

I wanted to give James something that had Samuel's name engraved on it, but he never wear jewelry other his wedding ring. I found an Etsy shop where you can get personalized sterling silver guitar picks.  Check it out: Tomi's Treasures. James has a guitar that he plays from time to time. He said this was his biggest surprise. He took it to work today to show everyone.

Welcome Home Solomon!

Last night, we had the joy of greeting our friends, Jack & Dana and their newly adopted Ethiopian son at the airport.

Back in January, Dana and I made plans to meet for lunch. I had some things that we had purchased in Ethipioa & I wanted to give to her. She already had one Ethipian son and they were in the process to adopt again. I figured her kids would probably appreciate the items from their country of birth. We talked about some of the trials James and I had faced and what it had been like switching to our agency's domestic adoption program. Then she told me she had some news. . .and pulled out some photos of a boy that they had accepted a referral for. I recognized him from the waiting child list.  I had prayed for the kids on that list, and I know God heard. I teared up, so thankful that this child would soon be coming to his new home. That was on January 28th, little did I know that in one week I would be holding my own son in my arms.  Dana was the first person I called after we found out that we had been chosen to be Samuel's parents.

 Finally home, after months of waiting and a very long trip!

New brothers!

Traveling with Samuel

We've taken two road trips with Samuel so far. His first road trip was to Louisiana to meet our family there.  He was only three weeks old, and yes we were a little crazy to take him on a 9+ hour road trip. The only reason we went when we did was I had signed up for a photography class. The photographer who shot our wedding began offering classes a few years ago, and I have been wanting to go to one of them. I had paid the deposit for the class long before we knew about Samuel, and I wanted to make it to the class. We left on a Friday after I worked half a day. Our dogs usually travel with us, but we decided that it would be best if they stayed at home this time. One of us sat in the back seat with Samuel so we could keep him happy. We had to stop twice and feed him, so it took us a little over 10 hours to get there.

He got to meet a lot of people who had been praying for him for a long time. My parents do not live in Louisiana, but the live closer to James' parents than to us. So, they drove down from Arkansas and spent the day with us. My mom's mom fell and broke he hip the day we brought Samuel home from the hospital, so they had been terribly busy taking care of her. This was their first time to meet there new grandson.

With his aunt and uncle

 Meeting his great-grandparents

James' parents hosted a "Sip-and-See" at their house on Sunday afternoon so people could stop by and meet little Samuel. It was so good to see everyone. We had to go back home a day earlier than we wanted because we needed to meet with our attorney.  The little man diffused a speeding ticket on our way back home. I was driving, and we had just gotten back into the St. Louis metro area. I have driven thru that area dozens and dozens of times, and I never realized that the speed limited dropped in that area from 70 to 65 mph. The officer asked for my license, registration, and proof of insurance and then he started talking about the baby. He let us go without a ticket.

At the end of March, we took Samuel to Arkansas for the first time. We bought a luggage carrier for our SUV. so we could take our dogs with us this time. They rode in the cargo space. My grandmother finally got to meet him. Samuel is her third great-grandson.

 I got to catch-up with my aunts and cousins at Samuel's baby shower.

A few things that make traveling with Samuel simpler:

Using On-the-Go packets of formula

Pack only enough diapers and wipes to cover what you will need on the road. Buy a small pack of diapers once you get to your destination.

Pack his stuff in his own suitcase. On our first trip, his things got packed with mine - which made it hard to find stuff.

Our first week with Samuel

Our first week with Samuel was spent with him in the hospital.  It was a very busy week.  I had to work three days that week, and James had his usual Monday through Friday schedule.  We both tried to be at the hospital at least once a day to feed him.  Samuel was having a difficult time taking a bottle, and we wanted to be there as much as we could so the nurses could coach us through feeding times. If I had to work, James and I would leave for the hospital around 8 pm, and I'd stay there until midnight. James would feed Samuel at 8:30, and I would feed him at 11:30. It made for some late nights. I woudn't get home until 1 AM.  At this point, our families still didn't know about Samuel. After all the problems we had trying to adopt internationally, we wanted to wait until Samuel was home with us before we told our families.

We had several things had to get done that week:

• get the nursery in workable order
• choose a pediatrician
• meet with our attourney
• find a rocker for the nursery
• get an infant car seat

I am really pleased with the rocker that we I found.  I had been looking at Pottery Barn's upholstered rockers, and was seeing $$$$.  I was determined to find something cheaper that was comfortable and durable.  A children's furniture ctore opened near us not too long ago, and I'd never been in there. I decided to check it out before shelling out way too much at Pottery Barn.  I told one of the sales ladies that I was looking for a rocker, and she told me that it took 4-6 weeks to get them in. That wouldn't work! Our son was already here.  I explained our situation, and she showed me three floor models that she could sell.  I bought one of them for $400 under the budget James had given me. James brought it home in his truck that afternoon, and one of our neighbors helped him get it set up in the nursery.

Some of our good friends gave us some necessary items, like clothes, diapers, and wipes to get us started. On Wednesday that week, we found out that Samuel was going to be discharged on Friday.  A couple of our neighbors jumped into to action and they left a big basket of clothes, bottles, formula, diapers, wipes, and toys on our doorstep.

 Our basket of goodies from our neighbors

 James sanitizing bottles

 We made plans for Samuel to be discharged after I got off work on Friday.  And no, I was not much use at work that day!  We began making phone calls to our families on the way home from the hospital.  Samuel is the first grandchild on both sides of our famillies, so needless to say everyone was very excited!

 Getting discharge instructions from Samuel's nurse practioner, who was also adopted.

 Sameul's first car ride. He is covered with a blanket that my mom - his Nana made.  She gave it to us some time ago.

Finally at home with Daddy, in our new rocker.

It's a Boy!

I know many of you have been praying for us through all the drama we've experienced in our adoption process.  Those prayers have finally been answered! We switched to the domestic infant adoption program with our agency in December, and we have some wonderful news to share!

At 3:38 pm on Friday 2/3/12, James called me and asked if I had seen the message from our agency about a new cold call situation. I was at work, and I had not seen it. I was on my way to the hospital to deliver medications to a transplant patient. I asked him to read the post to me. It was about a newborn baby boy right here in the St. Louis area. (FYI - A "cold call" is when the birthmom has no contact with the adoption agency prior to the child's birth. She contacts the agency soon after the child is born.)

On my way to the hospital, I prayed and asked God to let my heart and James' heart be in agreement if this baby was to be part of our family. After I was finished at the hospital, we decided to ask for more information on the case. By the time my shift was over, we had received the second email. We talked things over that night after dinner, and we decided to proceed. I sent the social worker a text message at 9:42 pm saying that we wanted to be considered for that child.

Saturday morning (2/4/12), James and I were getting ready to go to the YMCA.   At 9:58 AM we got a call from our agency telling us that we had been chosen to parent this little boy! Three of the social workers that have been walking down this road with us, and praying for us were on the phone - they all wanted to be able to deliver this long awaited news! It just did not seem real.  After spending almost three years trying to adopt a child from Ethiopia, our son was born 30 minutes from our home. My head started swimming.  There was so much to be done before we brought this baby home. The nursery was a mess. The furniture was partially taken apart and none of it was in the right place. We didn't have an infant car seat. We didn't have diapers, wipes, or bottles. We needed a name! We didn't have a single boy name picked out.We made plans to meet our social worker and the hospital at 2 pm so we could meet our baby. I went on to the YMCA, hoping that getting some time in on the elliptical would help me think clearly.  (It helped, but not much. Ha!)

While we were getting ready to go to the hospital, we talked about a name.  We threw several options around, and we were able to make a tentative decision.  We left for the hospital and prayed on the way there.























We spent four hours at the hospital with our little man that day. We both fed him, and changed his diaper.  By the next day, we had decided on a name -

Samuel Stephen

Samuel is after James' maternal grandfather.  His name is Carl, but he is known as Sam to many. He was the youngest of five children, and his momma was out of baby names when he was born.  His still didn't have a name by his second day of life. His siblings started asking their mom what they were going to name the baby.  She said -"Anything but Sam."  Well, siblings being siblings, they started calling him Sam.  He is 85 years old, and he is still known as Sam.  Little Samuel, may you have the long life, devotion to God, and wisdom that your Great-Grandfather has had.

Stephen is after my dad and after Samuel's Godfather.  My dad has a kind heart, and he is ever ready to tell someone about Jesus.  I've heard him tell telemarketers that they need Jesus. Part of his speech that he gave at my rehearsal dinner was the Gospel.  He also enjoys entertaining the kids at church - Samuel, I bet the first time you met Santa it will be with your Grandpa dressed up playing the part. Early in our adoption process, we had to name a guardian for our future child. We prayed about it, and the same two people kept coming to our minds - James' youngest cousin Stephen and his wife Elizabeth.  They prayed about it too, and they agreed.  I was at a St. Louis Blues Hockey game when Stephen called me to tell that he and Elizabeth wanted to be our child's Godparents. Stephen has an adventurous spirit, a heart for the Gospel, and the willingness to serve God and follow him where He calls. He and Elizabeth went to Kenya on a dental mission trip this past summer.  Samuel, may you value obedience to Jesus above all, may your tongue be a quick to speak of Jesus as these two men, and may your feet be swift to follow the call of Jesus wherever He may take you.

Samuel, people all over the world have been praying for you. People all over the US, friends in Canada and Ethiopia.  When we started our adoption process, we thought we'd be adding a little brown-skinned girl from Ethiopia to our family.  After suffering through four failed referrals Ethiopia, we just didn't know why God did not see fit to add one of those little girls to our family.  He knew all along when you would be born and that you were meant to be our son.

"For this child I prayed, and the LORD has granted me my petition that I made to him."

1 Samuel 1:27 (ESV)

Thanks be to God from whom all blessings flow!

Adoption Update: Not what we'd hoped for

I have not written much about our adoption situation since we returned from Ethiopia in July.  Here's a run down of what has happened over the last few months:

1. Our agency did investigations on two of the children that we had been able to meet while we were in Ethiopia. 
2. After receiving the results of the investigations, we accepted a referral for one of the children, an eight mo. old girl.
3. We had to re-do our dossier. Our first one was about to expire. (Dossiers are good for 2 yrs in Ethiopia.) This took about 6 weeks.
4. We found out in early September that we had been assigned a court date of Nov. 15th.  In early October, we booked our flights.
5. We told our parents about our travel plans on 10/30, but those plans were going to unravel 5 days later.
6. Last Friday while I was at work, James called me and said our social worker wanted to have a conference call with us.  I was tied up and could not talk, so I asked James to talk with her. I expected that the news would not be good, and feared that it had something to do with the birthmom's court appearance, which had taken place earlier that day.
7. I called James when I was able to, and my fears were correct. The birthmom testified that she wished to parent the child who had been referred to us. Our fourth failed referral.
8. Yesterday we informed our agency that we want to withdraw from the Ethiopia program. We are considering pursuing domestic adoption, but we have not made any firm decisions in that regard yet.

James and I have been put through an emotional hell this past year. I did not want to go to church on Sunday. It was Orphan Sunday, and I was not up to hearing people sing the praises of adoption. So, we stayed home. I feel like God has been playing a game with us. There have been so many things that have happened along the way that made us feel encouraged to adopt from Ethiopia. Such us:

• Learning that James and my birthdays both fall on Ethiopian holidays.
• Our original dossier got hung up at our agency's office and was sent to Ethiopia about a month later than it should have been sent. It was sent on March 5, 2010 - which was the birthdate of the first baby who was referred to us. (She passed away less than three months after we received the referral for her.)
• Learning that we have a neighbor who does works in Ethiopia and travels there once or twice a year.

I don't know why God put the desire to adopt from Ethiopia in our heart if He knew that He had no plans to fulfill that desire. All I can say about that are that His ways are not our ways.

We learned several things along the way about the adoption process that I wish we'd known before we got heavily involved with the program:

•  Most of the children available for adoption are not orphans in the way that we think. Most of them have one birth parent living. I know this is not true of every child, but it is true of most. All four children who were referred to us had a living mother, and I know of many families who have been able to meet their child's birthparent while they were in Ethiopia.
• The birthparent has the right to claim custody of the child up until their appearance in court in Addis.  This is not just a formality, and the judge will honor in the birthparent's wish to parent. The birthparent's court date is typically 1-2 weeks before the adoptive families' court date, so your travel/adoption plans may get thrown out the window a week before you were planning on leaving for court.
• There is probably no way to know your child's HIV status for sure if they are under the age of 18 months. Yes, the little babies will be tested for HIV, but the tests that are commonly used in Ethiopia for HIV are not 100% accurate in children under the age of 18 months.
• Children under the age of two year will not be screened for TB. TB is one of the most common causes of death in Ethiopia, and I was baffled to learn that kids under the age of two will not be screened for it. They will be given a chest x-ray, if they exhibit signs of respiratory illness, but in our experience TB is not accurately diagnosed. The first child we were referred died from TB, after she had been treated for pneumonia for several weeks. 
• Ethiopia does not have a good system in place to keep track of records regarding previous relinquishments by families. Let's say that a mom relinquishes a child for adoption and that child is adopted by a family in the US. Same mom gets pregnant a year later and wants to relinquish that child as well. The family in the US who has the first child has to be contacted to given the option to adopt the new sibling.  This is how we lost our third referral.

 I don't know if we would have changed our minds about adopting from Ethiopia had we known all those things, but it still would have been nice to know these things before we had spent over a year in the program.

Thank you for your prayers, condolences, and encouragement. We are not sure what our next steps will be at this time. We ask that you give us the same courtesy that you'd give someone who had four miscarriages in less than a year's time. We are not up for a lot of questions about adoption/children right now.