At least for a little while that is. Today was my last day at work. I had been working full time, dealing with a rather grueling schedule. My hours were usually something like 2 AM to 10 AM, and I had a broken sleep pattern. I felt like a zombie most of the time, and it was rough on the four of us. We tried to streamline things as much as we could. We bowed out of extra activities at church & hired a house cleaning service, but it still left us precariously juggling our time. I missed the kids, and I felt consumed. I have worked with, trained, and taught a lot of pharmacy students over the years, and I always tell them to reconsider a job if the paycheck is the only thing that they find rewarding about it. I was beginning to hear my own advice ring in my ears, so I gave my notice in early January and agreed to stay on part time until my replacement was hired. My replacement started on Monday. She's a single mom of two who needs the jobs worse than I do. I am not envious of her position.
If I decide to look for another job, I'm not going to try to find one until after Eva's birthday, which is in about 2 months. I worked a little for the local college of pharmacy during the fall semester, and I've been invited back to teach the same lab in the fall this year. I'll probably do that again.
I'm thankful that this is a choice that I have the freedom to make, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that I was a little nervous about staying home with the kids. It's hard work, and it's unpredictable. I am looking forward to seeing the kids more, and I'm relieved to be able to spend the nights in my own house instead of at the pharmacy. The kids will be little only once. I won't ever get a "do-over" of Samuel's toddlerhood because I was too consumed with work to soak in his two-year-old-ness. Work can wait. I get one shot at serving my kids well as they grow up. I've already had a lot of years to serve my patients well, and those opportunities will still be there when my kids are not. I've had a lot of patients who left an endearing imprint in my memory, but the best week of my career was spent serving in Haiti. I didn't get paid anything for that work, but it fed my heart in a way that my regular job did not. I hope I can say the same things about staying home with my kids that I say about Haiti - It was hard, emotional work that I had the honor of doing, and I got to witness Jesus do some amazing things in the hearts of people He created.