Experiencing Grief. It is available at Amazon for under $4. This book is a general book on grief. It is not just for widows or for parents who have lost a child. Anyone who is wrestling with grief could gain help from this book. That's one thing that I liked about the book. The author writes about the emotions and fears that you may experience while grieving, and he gives practical suggestions for dealing with those feelings.
Here are a few quotes that I found helpful:
"Just remember, you don't need to be fixed."
This winter was hard. Really hard. After losing Baby D, I cried at church every.single.Sunday. from early November to mid-January. James wanted to have "me" back. He's an engineer. He fixes problems. He's used to looking at a problem, coming up with a solution, and fixing it. He couldn't "fix" me. And that frustrated him. It frustrated me too. There just wasn't an easy solution.
"The scriptures are not a medicine cabinet, filled with prescriptions to take the edge off life. They are about a God who, during his most painful experience on earth, refused the wine mixed with myrrh that was offered him."
I had turned to the scriptures wanting to find solace. I couldn't find it. I'd come across a verse like Deut. 4:31 "For the LORD your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon or destroy you or forget the covenant with your ancestors, which he confirmed to them by oath." My heart would sting. God's mercy was elusive. I felt like we had been obedient in following the call the adopt, and I felt like we'd been abandoned. When I stopped approaching the scriptures like they were they medicine, I began to enjoy reading them again.
"Grief disrupts your mind and thinking ability. Confusion moves in and memory takes a vacation."
After the loss of Baby #2, I became incredibly forgetful. I didn't know what was wrong with me. One Saturday following our loss, I told James that I could not remember what we had done the night before. We had gone out to eat at one of our favorite restaurants and then we walked around outside for a little while, taking in some unusually warm February weather. We had a good night, but in that moment I couldn't recall any of that from my memory. My forgetfulness concerned me, and I was rather relieved to learn that it is a normal part of the grieving process.